they knew it all along, but I finally woke up

Almost a year ago I joined a Mastermind. If you’ve been hanging around me for a while, you might have been hearing about it.

My group of 6 kickass women got to meet in person in the summer, and we were invited to go a little bigger this past week. San Diego—2.5 days, and 40 new kickass friends.

Going into the event, some of the people that would be there and I connected online, had worked together, collaborated together, or had been running in some of the same online circles. Turns out the internet is a pretty small place.

Heading here knowing that I already knew a bunch of these rad business owners left me feeling more relaxed and excited than the nervous energy that normally fills me before events like these.

Going into the event, and frankly, December and the start of 2019 were fuzzy.

Fuzzy from a point of not knowing what was next. I had declared two main goals, and other than that, I was feeling pretty open to what the year would bring.

Openness to what’s in front of us is always a good idea, so that wasn’t the problem—it was the lack of focus and clarity. I packed my carry-on luggage, hugged my family, and hopped on a plane from Chicago to San Diego.

What happened next was a series of connections, synchronicities, and clarity of a different kind.

You can catch some highlights in this unfussy run down on my featured insta-stories. But the one I’m about to tell you about needed some more words around it so I could share it with you.

All of the speakers at the event were amazing. It was the last one who blew my mind in a completely different kind of way.

Jenna Gessay, an Intuitive Consultant took the mic. I knew she was going to be at Mastermind LIVE talking to us about learning how to use intuition in our businesses. Rad. I love this stuff.

She took the front of the room with grace and I was really excited to learn more from her. She had an energy about her that was magnetic. I really wanted to say hi and get to know more about her throughout the event, but every time she caught my eye, she had a small crowd around her.

Obviously, I wasn't the only one drawn to her.

During her chat, she talked about how we feel it in our bodies when we know something is right or wrong for us.

After a brief grounding exercise, she asked us all to stand up, ask ourselves a question, and then notice if we lean forward or backward.

You can practice this by saying what your name is and then saying your name is something else. Before you do this, you’ll clear your mind and stay open to what comes up. I’ll leave the teaching techniques of all this to the experts.

When she opened up to questions, I had a nagging question burning inside me that I was kind of afraid to ask.

When I sensed that the time was almost up, I shot my hand up. I had to know.

By this point, I had formed 2 more questions in my mind—two of which were the only ones I wanted to ask in the crowd.

  1. Do I have to stand up or sit down?
    You know, to know? Very practical—you can sit to do this exercise too. I tried it and I noticed a pull forward or back depending on what I was contemplating.

  2. How do I know the voices in my head are telling me the right thing to do or the wrong thing to do? And when I can sense things, how do I know if that’s my intuition or something else talking?

Without missing a beat, she told me that I experience it that way because I’m claircognizant… (I later Googled) someone who simply knows things about the future. Cognizance means knowledge or awareness and so claircognizants have the psychic intuition of clear thinking.

She recommended a book. When she said the name, I froze. I later found out there were a few “no way’s!” echoed throughout the room.

That book she mentioned had come up 4 times that same week. I book that was left by the previous owners of our house, and I read in 2014. And earlier that week:

  • My mentor recommended it to a few of us to read

  • A mastermind sister and friend mentioned it the day we flew into San Diego and had already come up for her a few times that week

  • In my bedroom at our Airbnb for the week, look what book was front and center on the bedside bookshelf…

  • I had taken the photo on the day we arrived only to show my mentor and friend who was just talking about it. When I found it in the room, I thought it was funny, and wondered if maybe I should reread it.

The Untethered Soul

The Untethered Soul

So when Jenna told me this, my neck got tight and I felt like I could barely breathe. When she was finished answering my question, I had to tell her. She didn’t seem at all surprised.

I downloaded the audio version of that book that evening.

Then, she suggested that practicing some channeled writing would be helpful for me. I figured she had noticed me talking about writing at some point over the past two days, so I wasn’t surprised, but the looks of the others’ faces were wide-eyed. And it turned out she really didn’t know that I was in fact, a writer.

The next day, I wanted to track her down to ask her the last question… that really had been on my mind since the summer, and I never really had an answer to, so I left it alone—knowing the answer would present itself when the time was right.

This was our last day of the event, and especially after her talk, every time I’d look for her, there were people around her. Some would follow her out of the room because they had questions for her. I didn’t overhear many of the questions, but when we finally locked eyes, she pointed at me and said, “We need to talk.”

She knew it.

I told her what I’d been contemplating for almost a year.

In the past year, at least a dozen or so healing, energetic, or woo types came into my world. Either as friends, clients, or they had actually been there all along and I never really noticed. It was the ratio of clients that past year who I had worked with that had energy at the core of their work.

I asked her, “Why are all these healers, light-workers, and energy workers finding me and want to work with me?”

Again, not missing a beat, “Because they know you’re intuitive too.”

Spinning, everything seemed to make sense now.

I packed up my pages of notes, head filled with inspiration, and heart exploding with gratitude from the event knowing, without a doubt that it was time to stop hiding it. The knowing.

Clients, no matter their industry—healer, tech, healthcare, designer, performer all say things to me like, “How’d you get inside my head?” “I don’t know how you did it.” “It’s like you know me.”

Of course, I do very practical things with all my copywriting clients. We chat on video first to make sure we’re both a great fit for working together, sign legal agreements, accept deposits, go through a thorough (and also really fun I’m told) questionnaire.

Once the practical part is there, I marry that with a knowing. I listen to my gut and take risks based on hunches. Sometimes clients love it, sometimes they don’t. That part is beyond my control and it’s all okay.

I had been afraid to declare it to my little citrine-lined corner of the internet out of fear of being judged and labeled. I didn’t want to be called woo, a hippie, witchy, or whatever label you want to give it, even though I embraced every single one of my clients who might describe themselves this way.

But today, I’m finally declaring it. I write with my intuition. It’s one of my writing tools.

[cue knowing laughs by all the intuitive friends in my life].