who's that person behind the curtain? getting personal today
Today I’m getting a little personal and talking about something I normally don’t talk about in the Barefoot Essence world. I put a curtain up between two of my worlds, now it’s on the floor. The curtain was flailed back, Wizard of Oz style.
I’m not putting it back up.
Some of you may know I have had a corporate job/real job/desk job, or whatever you want to call it [not getting hung up on labels]. The one that paid bills and afforded me the funds to provide for my family, write and cook for you, have fun and travel [a wee bit]. You won't hear me knock it either; as a project manager at a consulting firm, I learned a shit-ton, sharpened many skills, learned great lessons and met awesome people.
I've got mad passions for communications + process. This ties in perfectly with Barefoot Essence.
This job was THE reason this blog and my budding business was born.
- a hubby who doesn't cook [unless you consider chips + salsa cooking]
- 2 kids [who also don't cook]
- 2 dogs [who obviously don't cook]
- A full-time consulting job that often spilled into evenings and weekends
- Having a BIG problem with my kids growing up on convenience food
I had to find a way to make the whole food thing easy. Real easy. I mean we HAD to eat. I had to make it super-efficient.
Because of my project management expertise, I’m all about process. I love process, I reinvent process, write about process and teach people process.
Batch cooking is simply a process.
Batch cooking was born out of my crazy mom, consulting, wife schedule.
handed the pink slip
Well, I was laid off from said corporate job last week. When I was "summoned" I knew exactly what was going to happen. I sat in a conference room with a director and HR rep, in a slightly shaky, but in a kind of expected it, I've been here before kind of way.
I acted all cool, like I've been laid off before [this was my 3rd time - I know right???], asking questions like, when will you ship my stuff? and how much is severance?
I walked slowly back to my office, kind of in a trance, shut the door and packed up whatever I could fit in my "oh kale yeah" canvas bag. My hands shook as I messaged Ry and a few friends. I snuck out as quickly and as quietly as I could. I thought about saying some goodbyes, but the ones I wanted to keep in touch with, would get in touch anyways.
I walked out of there with a flood of emotion:
- angry - why didn't I quit first?
- happy - hello new opportunities!
- scared - what am I going to do tomorrow?
- nervous - how am I going to make money? get health insurance? can we afford that trip next month? should I find a job? Will I have to take just any job? We're closing on a house next week, couldn't they have waited?
- excited - I now have the time to write that book, set up that service, make the plans, host that class, move to our new home
- embarrassed - how do I tell people?
- shamed - I mean, who get's laid off THREE times in 5 years? Two of those times from the SAME company? It's like a bad relationship
I knew this would be a reality a few months ago, to help mitigate the financial blow we;
- bought a modest home at a good price to escape city rent and a Starbucks addiction with one on every corner
- invested in a simpler life, more space, which will inevitable require a little bit more stuff [but it'll be functional]
- cut expenses; daycare, memberships, subscriptions...
- found savings on daycare, car insurance, food, utilities
- committed to a simpler life in the country [ish] to have more time to do nothing and do what we love
Ms. Cranky Spanx
Rewind to that morning....I was miss cranky pants, yelling at the kids to hurry up and eat, pick your clothes, pack your bag. DO IT NOW!!! WHY ARE YOU TAKING SO LONG???!!!
There were tears from the kids and frustration from me. After exploding on the kids and feeling like crap, I was getting dressed for work.
As I squeezed my ass into a pair of spanx, a pencil skirt, clingy top and sweater I thought to myself;
"why the hell am I wearing clothes I hate, freaking out on the kids all to rush out the door for a job I don't LOVE?!?”
Well about 6 hours later, the universe answered and told me not to rush to that job anymore.
I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe I manifested this?
After I put down my [empty] bottle of organic wine, I had shit to do:
- first I went to yoga
- review our budget to make sure we won't end up on the street [I jokingly said this to J and later found out he was really worried about this….mom fail]
- list more workshops
- sell meal maps
- write a book [I wrote 11 pages]
- find work I love [this is in progress]
- pull down the Barefoot Essence / Corporate curtain
I'm no longer hiding Barefoot Essence from this part of my life. No more split personalities. I didn't talk much about Barefoot Essence at work, and was careful not to let the curtain down on sites like LinkedIn.
Barefoot Essence is my expression, my creative outlet, and it's part of what makes me AWESOME, and why should I hide that from a potential employer? Partner? or from anyone? And I wouldn't trade the inspirational stories I get from you for ANYTHING!
Now when someone asks "so what do you do?" My answer is a little long-winded, but I don't censor it, and don't filter my answer anymore.
What I “do” doesn’t fit in a tidy little recycled paper box. It’s a gift bag with a rainbow of colored tissue paper, some newspaper, ribbons, and a few bows, some tied neatly, others a little messy.
The next few weeks are a little nuts for me [notice I didn’t use the “B” word?]. I’m chatting with recruiters, interviewing, moving [just bought a house! More on that later] and going on a family vacation, visiting Disney and going on a girls trip. All before June 1.
Go big. Lose the curtain. Let it all hang out and see what happens.
What about you? Do you have a curtain up between roles you play? Do you have different personalities? I'd love to hear your curtain story in the comments below.