What is it about turning the page on the calendar that makes us want to reflect? People are thinking about what they did or didn't do, what was accomplished, cherishing bright memories or acknowledging dark times of 2012.
Everyone's looking towards 2013; it’s what’s next. Fresh year, fresh start, blank page, new leaf. Maybe you're wishing for the coming year to be at least as good as the last one or hopeful that 2013 will be better than 2012. Maybe you're excited for a new year or maybe you're a little sad to see it go.
A new year is really just a new day, month and year on the calendar, but a fresh page on the calendar is a simple reminder (and a good opportunity) to turn inwards for some reflection.
In the past I've not been a fan of New Year’s resolutions; my resolutions have usually been ‘not to make one’. We're all on a journey of constant progress, so why make a defined list for ourselves and beat ourselves up for failing? Celebrate your failures, it means you tried something. I recently read an analogy that sums up quite well how I perceive goals. I'm like a frog on a lily pad. I sun myself on whatever lily pad feels good and makes sense for the time being, then hop to another one that seems like a good place to sun myself for a while.
Subconsciously I've always set ongoing qualitative goals, instead of a list of quantitative goals when the ball drops. I thought I may have been doing this in part due to laziness, and fear of failure, but I recently realized that qualitative goals make more sense. Feel happier; spend more time doing things I like, run, try new things, improve a relationship, etc.
I came to this ‘ah-ha’ moment after reading about author Danielle LaPorte’s latest project; The Desire Map. She says ‘You’re not chasing the goal itself; you’re actually chasing a feeling.’ I sat with this thought for a few minutes and it clicked for me. I have not read the Desire Map yet, but enjoyed her last book; The Fire Starter Sessions – a real kick in the pants to help you discover what you love and define success on your own terms. It's not just a book to relax and read, you actually have to roll up your sleeves and do some homework, but I learned so much about myself in the process.
This year, I'm focusing on how I want to feel.
And what I need to do to weave those core feelings into my life.
In 2013 I want to feel:
What I am going to do in 2013 to feel this way: Put more energy into relationships that make me feel good, wake up before the kids to spend time reading, writing or meditating, journal, light candles more, talk less, listen intently, speak candidly, dedicate 15 minutes daily to writing my book, do one thing at a time, be present, take some cooking classes, join a community.
On my ‘to NOT do list’: saying yes to every opportunity, investing emotional energy in toxic relationships, finishing books that don't light me up.
Tonight I'll light some candles, pour some champagne and write down my desired feelings with some actions to help achieve those feelings.
I'd love to hear what feelings you want for you. Please share in the comments three of your core desired feelings for 2013.
I wish you all the brightest of New Years.